The Rise and Fall of Allen Strickland Williams

Two weeks ago today I got fired.  I received a call from the third-party company that pays my check every week and got the news.  To clarify, I was not let go due to the economy or cutbacks or anything like that.  One of my bosses was not happy with my performance, and simply wanted to terminate the working relationship before going any further.  I got capital F "fired."  Sounds like the decision had been made about two weeks prior.  I was very Zen after hearing the news, and even somewhat relieved.  At that point I was hating the job pretty fierce.  I used to ask my friends at lunch if they'd mind running me over in the parking garage so I wouldn't have to go back to the office.  I was half-joking.  At any rate, I wasn't happy and I knew it, so it was hard to get too upset about it.  Obviously, no one wants to be fired, and that didn't feel too good.  Even if I don't particularly care about something or put too much effort into it, it still feels bad to fail, let people down, or not live up to the expectations which have been placed on myself.  That smarts and, while I am happy to be removed from the less than ideal situation, I'm not pleased with the way it happened.  But that's the way it went down and so I need to accept it, learn from it, and, no matter what I end up doing after this, make sure I draw upon this experience in the most positive way so that I won't repeat the same mistakes I've made countless times before.

So I'm looking for work.  I'd like to find a bona fide job in comedy as a writer's assistant or for a comedy management firm, but finding a day job is not my MO at the moment.  I'd rather simply temp or freelance for the time being (or find something else such as substitute teaching/etc.) so that I can afford to live while really being able to focus the energy necessary to pursue stand-up.  I'd love to be able to write every day, perform at least at one open mic a night without question, and take some more classes at UCB.  About two and a half weeks ago I hit the open mic scene again hard and realized how much I truly enjoy being on stage.  The five minutes I spend on stage, no matter how the set is received, make my day.  I could work for 10 hours straight and have a shitty day and then I go on stage and hear one hearty laugh and genuinely feel better about myself and the world and would even go so far as to think, "This was a good day."  Something that has that much power over my psyche deserves more respect and attention, and fortunately (for better or worse) I'm going to have the time and energy to shift my focus thusly.

We'll see how this all pans out when I'm eating saltines sprayed with a variety of Febreze air freshener scents for taste, but for now, my head is hanging no lower than usual and I still feel like I'm slouching towards the right direction.  And I feel a quickening of the pace coming on.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

If you're in Florida, so am I.  Until 12/27.  Let's hang out.